March 01, 2007
Dreams - My other reality
Cj, Zie and me were going to our boss's house for the CNY. We arranged to go together.
There, I realised Kay also went. Apparently, Cj and Zie made arrangement for Kay and me to meet because Kay hoped that we remain as friends. And Cj said that knowing both of us, she felt it would be such a pity if we couldn't even be friends. Cj said for us to have a good talk, to try to salvage the situation that we were in.
I felt torn. On one hand, I could see where Cj was coming from. On the other hand, I felt I was just so not up to it - being friends with Kay. So, I kept quiet most of the time. I didn't know what to say.
And when at last I spoke, I was close to tears. I spoke about how disappointed I was, how I had tried to spare a thought for her and yet, felt very hurt by her. I spoke about how many times I gave her the benefit of the doubt but they all ended up being cases of my self-denial. And I said, at last, I don't know why I should bother taking the initiative to be friends with her or even reciprocate her initiative. I guess, I just didn't know what to do.
Then, Cj and Zie went away. Left me alone with her. She was just smiling and we were just waiting for something, anything to happen. And I decided to just try to make some small talk. But, something in me stopped me from even that. I don't know what. Self-defense mechanism? Pride?
The next thing I knew, the scene changed to a beach resort. Some beach resort called Havanah. It was a really nice, cosy beach resort. Very exclusive. And inside, there were dogs. Huge dogs. There was a rifle collection installed on the wall.
I woke up not long after.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:00